I'm really into asian looking animals
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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