he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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