Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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