I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
