i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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