how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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