They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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