Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
