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• (516): View more from New York

  Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Omg suz!! take the unibrow off

  (516): View more from New York

  No! im just getting hammered instead

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Say something about gay babies.

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• (916): View more from California

  the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Does that work!! Please say yes

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• (707): View more from California

  It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  all my money is vodka money

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have never read a truer sentence.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  it is shots o' clock and I am never late

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.

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• (310): View more from California

  I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.

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• (585): View more from New York

  The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.

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