I CAN MOONWALK!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.