Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3862) Bad night (640)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.

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  (321): I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud. http://tfl.nu/bqn8
  Replies (60) Good night (2123) Bad night (1065)
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  (310): View more from California

  what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?

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  (310): what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'? http://tfl.nu/9kgd
  Replies (95) Good night (1955) Bad night (3146)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously

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  (214): On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi. (1-214): You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously http://tfl.nu/z61a
  Replies (29) Good night (885) Bad night (2368)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

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  (405): I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation. http://tfl.nu/os3u
  Replies (13) Good night (4434) Bad night (1130)
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  (916): View more from California

  Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room

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  (916): Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room http://tfl.nu/yi7m
  Replies (13) Good night (1358) Bad night (3751)
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  (408): View more from California

  My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

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  (408): My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me. http://tfl.nu/7zz8
  Replies (5) Good night (1188) Bad night (2179)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

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  (517): Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise. http://tfl.nu/o3um
  Replies (12) Good night (3438) Bad night (917)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again

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  (509): With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again http://tfl.nu/qu3m
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (990)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.

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  (407): There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture. http://tfl.nu/r7xe
  Replies (13) Good night (2052) Bad night (554)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.

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  (801): New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3a1v
  Replies (5) Good night (1232) Bad night (389)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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  (612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive
  Replies (6) Good night (1056) Bad night (200)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

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  (214): If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/4860
  Replies (6) Good night (243) Bad night (709)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it

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  (954): My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it http://tfl.nu/o7iy
  Replies (9) Good night (984) Bad night (196)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.

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  (214): Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/wbcl
  Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (307)

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