Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.

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(410): She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard. http://tfl.nu/ezls

Replies (9) Good night (614) Bad night (2877)
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(904): View more from Florida

Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

(1-904): View more from Florida

six.

(904): View more from Florida

Oh, I thought it was higher.

(1-904): View more from Florida

No, that would be the Matt's

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(904): Another one? Damn, how many David's is that? (1-904): six. (904): Oh, I thought it was higher. (1-904): No, that would be the Matt's http://tfl.nu/8llg

Replies (33) Good night (6775) Bad night (1657)
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(315): View more from New York

We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.

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(315): We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits. http://tfl.nu/d5s5

Replies (9) Good night (3290) Bad night (1071)
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(954): View more from Florida

I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

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(954): I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate. http://tfl.nu/yurv

Replies (9) Good night (3814) Bad night (769)
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(713): View more from Texas

Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.

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(713): Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere. http://tfl.nu/qua7

Replies (3) Good night (1164) Bad night (576)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Not worth it.

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(973): She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene. (1-973): Not worth it. http://tfl.nu/l4pk

Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (1344)
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(347): View more from New York

i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled

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(347): i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled http://tfl.nu/2qi2

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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(704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre

Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (1068)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand

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(304): I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand http://tfl.nu/6s03

Replies (10) Good night (864) Bad night (1116)
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(941): View more from Florida

So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

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(941): So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic http://tfl.nu/vgkg

Replies (8) Good night (1624) Bad night (802)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy

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(440): I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy http://tfl.nu/cz6x

Replies (12) Good night (540) Bad night (972)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are

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(775): Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are http://tfl.nu/iecj

Replies (11) Good night (474) Bad night (1260)
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(914): View more from New York

So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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(914): So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun. http://tfl.nu/n89x

Replies (12) Good night (725) Bad night (1322)
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(256): View more from Alabama

On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?

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(256): On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs? http://tfl.nu/5plk

Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (335)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.

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(202): Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball. http://tfl.nu/qe48

Replies (7) Good night (340) Bad night (761)

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