there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
