Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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