thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
