I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
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The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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