I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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