is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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