Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
