I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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