Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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