remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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