I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He better not be in your backpack
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
