do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize