Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
