i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize