handjob tips. give me some.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
