if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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