you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
