you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
