Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
