The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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