Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
