just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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