Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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