I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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