i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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