what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
