haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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