What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
