Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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