i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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