just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
