it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
one might say we're banned from that church
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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