Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
