He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
