Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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