we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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