I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
