u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
