Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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