just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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