I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
