he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Boobs are out for the taking
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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