More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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