dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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