Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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