I didn't shave. On purpose
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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